>be me
>be poorf*g
>be bicycling home from grocery shopping
>carrying a bag of sliced bread in my hand since I didn't want to squish it into my backpack
>some douchebag passes by me on a bicycle
>it's on
>pedal faster and stay right behind this asshole
>a thought starts to form
>what if I pass by him and swing my bread to hit him in the back of the head?
>think, "What would /b/ do?"
>do it f*ggot
>douchebag turns around and is surprised to see me on his tail
>he books it
>nu-uh
>I am determined
>he turns around again
>I'm still on his tail
>I am clearly matching my speed to his
>he gets a little freaked out
>I yell, "I'm gonna whack your head with this bread, bitch!"
>douchebag turns his head around, "What!?"
>douchebag hits a fairly big branch in the road and crashes
>oh shit
>not how I planned this to go
>stop my bike and run towards him, still carrying my bread
>swing as hard as I can and smack him right in the face
>run back to my bike and book it
And then he died