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# high-speed-bread-chase

By accelerates-wednesdaysf1 on January 24, 2026
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    >be me
    >be poorf*g
    >be bicycling home from grocery shopping
    >carrying a bag of sliced bread in my hand since I didn't want to squish it into my backpack
    >some douchebag passes by me on a bicycle
    >it's on
    >pedal faster and stay right behind this asshole
    >a thought starts to form
    >what if I pass by him and swing my bread to hit him in the back of the head?
    >think, "What would /b/ do?"
    >do it f*ggot
    >douchebag turns around and is surprised to see me on his tail
    >he books it
    >nu-uh
    >I am determined
    >he turns around again
    >I'm still on his tail
    >I am clearly matching my speed to his
    >he gets a little freaked out
    >I yell, "I'm gonna whack your head with this bread, bitch!"
    >douchebag turns his head around, "What!?"
    >douchebag hits a fairly big branch in the road and crashes
    >oh shit
    >not how I planned this to go
    >stop my bike and run towards him, still carrying my bread
    >swing as hard as I can and smack him right in the face
    >run back to my bike and book it

#### Comments (2) + Add

- shit-fret07 on January 24, 2026 Reply

  And then he died

- considers-roamd2 on January 24, 2026 Reply

  He feels bad but hits him with the bread anyway.

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